Been playing LA Noire. The car manages to be just as stupid as the horse in Red Dead Redemption. It’s impossible not to drive into everything while doing a car chase as the steering is shit. I’ve been a Take Two fan since Bureau 13, but damnit, being frustrated does not add to playability!

It’s not a fucking car simulator! I want to get to places and solve fucking crimes.

I’ve played Mass Effect today. So very little else happened. And perhaps I need to replay with a different career that suits me better. I like the game though.

In this evenings game of Arkham Horror there was an incident. The big bad was Yog-Sothoth, and my librarian —  of course — went into the Abyss and the tentacles… They left me with one in stamina. One! Insanity! Except that my sanity was full so I guess “typically ironic” would be a better phrase. Also, a shot-gun wielding librarian loaded up with magical spells, that’s the very definition of kick-ass. There are things you don’t taunt, even if you’re an Outer God that lurks between time and space. As Ash said in one of the cuts of Army of Darkness: “Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the gun.”

Should I write something about the Oscars?  Fuck no. There are more important things I’ve been thinking about. Like the Official Rules of Night Badminton! Exciting, yes? It should be, any game where you get to use the phrases “that was close!” and “there it is!” is amazing. Since I got no real clue about sports at all the rules will be sketchy. Also, they’re a work in progress.

• A game of NB must be played at night, outside, in the dark.
• Light sources of fire close by or on the field is okay.
• A game is five rounds where-in a round is a arbitrary concept which the combatants agree on beforehand.
• There are four combatants in each game. The field is four areas in a square.
• Two points when you hit the ball, one point when you’re close to hitting it, and minus one if you have to look for it when you’ve missed. Three points if you hit the ball on someone else’s area.
• You must hit the ball towards the other combatants but there are no rule about which one.
• If it’s windy, your arms will be sore the morning after. There will be masturbation jokes.
• If a combatant dies during a game, it will win automatically. Because really, it’s a shitty way to go. While it’s still embarrassing, at least this way their family can say they won.
• A tournament needs the following equipment besides a field and a fistfull of rackets:

1. A whiteboard
2. Pens in different colours
3. A flashlight
4. A drunk judge
5. Cheese

• Talk about other things during the game by the combatants are encouraged. So are drinking beer.
• If you play to win, you’re doing it wrong.