Awkward
I like people. This isn’t a lie, but I wouldn’t admit it in public. Someone might get the wrong idea. That I’m social and charming, but this is almost never the case. I’m too nervous and I fidget and I’m a complete mess inside, besides, I never know how to fit in with strangers so I mostly just sits there. Quiet. Alone. But even so, it’s nothing personal. I just can’t relate to people I don’t have anything in common with and if I don’t know you, your interests just won’t exist. Not really. Because how can they?
But you can say “hi” and I’ll appreciate it, breaking the ice has never been my forté. There’s always water underneath. Dark, cold water ready to drown you. If others break the ice, then I can stand there on the shore and be safe and dry. Hopefully you’ll find some of the things I say funny and not insulting. I really gets uncomfortable when people do that face when I say somthing I find funny. Like I’m an idiot and should drop dead, preferably somewhere else than on their living room carpet. “But you can joke about anything!” I’d argue, but they mostly don’t agree. “Not about that,” they’d say looking like I’d groped their dead cousin at a wake. Some people…
Anyway. I take photos, and draw, and watch TV-series, and listen to This American Life. I tries to make music too, but apart from writing lyrics I’m not that good and to my big regret I can’t really sing at all. So I mostly just listen to others efforts. Yes, I’m that Nicklas. “Hi.”
