an awkward [reality] break

Just managed to stare down an anxiety attack. It feels as if I pretended to be someone else and pointed towards an innocent bystander — as if it’s a possession of a ghost or something and not something that comes from inside. Perhaps I truly am getting better and have strength I’ve hidden from myself for too long.

I am a bit more okay than in a long while I think. Not happy, just realised again that happy is on a different emotional axis. Perhaps, one day I’ll be both.

Anyways. I don’t think I could have done this if not people and friends on the Internets had made me laugh today or given support earlier this wretched week. I think most of you know why you are. Thank you, there are few things out there that really matter and for me you’re part of that. When we meet — when and not if, the world is rather small — I owe you a hug, a smile, something. And if you ever find yourselves visiting me, for that duration what’s mine is yours.