Today has been harrowing. There’s been feelings of okayness, and breakdowns where I really hated myself (but managed not to cry), slight smiles, big twine-ball of anxiety, notions of both “people like me” as well as “I’m not the loneliest person in the world but damnit, that’s what it feels like.” Whiny melodrama, thy name is my brain today. At least for brief moments.
I do wish my friends lived closer though. I do wish I wasn’t so awkward. I wish whenever I’m happy, it wouldn’t crumble apart all the time. Wishes are stupid but still…
(Most of today though, to avoid all the bad thoughts, I buried myself in RPG campaign planning.)
