Fuck the hiatus. I thought it was a good idea, but I’m not sure any more. Especially not now at 2AM. Friends are good, no? The day went pretty ok, despite that I couldn’t sleep until the brain shut down around 10AM. There were bouts of tears and stuff but randomly distributed and further between — were as now when the clocks line up, things roll back and it’s harder not to cry. Memories, dreams, feelings, everything’s tangled up. It’s a bit better than yesterday though, despite this. Just don’t want to do anything. But I’ll be okay soon, I hope, and we’ll talk even though it won’t be as before or as I wanted or… So fucking sick of “or”. So sick of tears too. And me. And everything. (Not everything. Not people I like, never want to give them up no matter what.)
Try not to give in, raise the walls again and out of defence fill the moat with industrial strength sarcasm. I liked who I was just now, damnit. I liked being happy too. I think I’ll try to be happy despite it all. Not now, but soon. Don’t have a clue about how…
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pikkutiikeri said:
Hello.
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nicklas posted this
