I got a deep fryer now. A small little thing and soon — soon! — I’ll have the first batch of French fries in my hand! No, make that plate. Straight from the fryer is probably bad to pour in the hands.

The model of the deep fryer is called Melissa. After Melissa Lauren I presume, as French fries must be one of the best forms of food porn ever devised. Next to cheese. Oh, I can fry some brie!